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Sane
SANE: A word I have never quite been acquainted with. I was brought up by someone who physically used my head to punish the walls of the house she found no peace in. How could “sane” possibly live here? Blindfolded by my desire to run from that hellhole, I thought the only road leading to happiness is marriage.
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Trust Your Gut
I was accepted into the doctoral program and was offered a full scholarship. Most people would have immediately accepted. But I didn’t.
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I Feel Closer to My Great Grandma Since She Forgot Who I Am
“Are you sure you want to go visit Grandma T? It might be difficult for you to see her this way,” my grandma, whom I call “Oma,” asked me. “Why?” I asked in return. I knew my great grandma had recently moved from her home to a memory care facility, but I wasn’t aware to what extent her mind had been affected. I hadn’t seen her in a few months. “She gets really upset sometimes,” she replied. “And she probably won’t remember who you are.”
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Why You Shouldn’t Bury Your Past
One of the biggest lies we are told is that it is possible to live fully in the moment, but the truth is we never can.
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What The Pandemic Was Really Like For An Introvert Like Me
For introverts, you’d think that the pandemic would be fun. Or at least something they’d be used to. It all sounds pretty normal: staying inside, watching something on a streaming service, and spending too much money on a food delivery app. You’d be mostly right if you were talking to this introvert. But this introvert also struggled. And this introvert even missed talking to people.
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Adventure Hostess: Making My Home a Global Community
Several people passed by my house this year. Many of them just passed by temporarily, but other people stopped by and stayed as long-term friends. For me, being an adventure hostess meant that everyone who needed a place to stay for some days, weeks, or months could come to my house. Welcoming people at home for over a year was my “specialty.”
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Cell
I handed over my watch and shoes, and we approached the turnstile where I was to enter. He supported my hand, moving it towards the small glass panel where a red beam would have scanned my thumb. Instinctively, I struggled and kicked. I was instantly cuffed by the four men who accompanied me there. The cold metal of the handcuffs cut into the skin of my wrists. I stopped struggling so that I wouldn’t hurt myself.
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Sifting Through the Ashes
I thought it was strange that my mom called me so early in the morning. It was 7:30am for me, so it must have been 4:30am for her. It was Wednesday, August 9th. “I wanted to call you before you saw the news. There's a fire in Lāhainā, Kīhei, and Kula. Everyone in our family is safe and accounted for. I might go pick up grandpa from Kīhei today. Your cousin was in Lāhainā, but escaped to Nāpili. Aunty has not heard from him since last night. I will keep in touch.” My cousin called my aunty the next day to check in. He was safe and helping with the…
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I’m Becoming My Mother, But That’s Not a Bad Thing!
When I was a child, my mother told me I’d grow up to be just like her. She said it to me in a tone that let me know I’d dread what I experienced once the change happened. Now, I’m “grown up,” and, as she predicted, I am exhibiting more and more characteristics that initially belonged to my mom alone. As I get older, not only do I look more and more like her, but I act like her, too.
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My Partial Program Experience
I have been depressed before, and depressed since. Arguably I am always hovering at some degree of “depression,” but at this time in my life, in early 2019, it was a darker, uglier color than it had ever previously been. I was immobile, frozen in time; I had become nothing but a fixture on my couch that occasionally moved to lay down in bed instead. I had long shed any sense of personhood and was a shadow of myself.
