I’m Becoming My Mother, But That’s Not a Bad Thing!

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When I was a child, my mother told me I’d grow up to be just like her. She said it to me in a tone that let me know I’d dread what I experienced once the change happened.

Now, I’m “grown up,” and, as she predicted, I am exhibiting more and more characteristics that initially belonged to my mom alone. As I get older, not only do I look more and more like her, but I act like her, too.

One and the same

Four traits stand out to me when I think about how I’m becoming a carbon copy of her.

The first one is the most prominent one – the one that’s most visible to others: when we’re stressed, we put our head between our hands and rub our hair.

I first noticed my mom do this when she drove, such as when merging onto a rush hour freeway or when we were at a confusing roundabout. From the corner of my eye in the passenger seat, I’d see her subconsciously make that move. When I started driving at sixteen, that habit was also instilled in me. I’m reminded of my mom each time it happens.

The second one is my favorite: her laugh.

We have the same sense of humor and laugh at the same things. Not only do we laugh at the same time, but the sounds of our laughter are so indistinguishable that it’s impossible to tell our laughter apart. They’re identical. Anyone between us will be met with a surround sound of our giggles.

Next up is our interest in conspiracy theories. My mom has always loved telling me about the ideas that pop up in her head, no matter how outlandishly impossible they seem. She tells others her stories and they don’t believe her, nor do they want to listen. She tells me, though, and we delve even further into the topic and I believe it, too. Now, I come up with my own theories about life and the universe and I know I’m safe to tell her.

Lastly is how clumsy we both are. I’m calling my mom out here, but she’s incredibly clumsy. Whether it’s bumping into things, dropping things, making mistakes when driving, or tripping over her own feet, she’s always getting herself into trouble!

I am becoming clumsier as I get older. I am positive I get that from her.

What I have to look forward to

Sometimes when she messes up or does something silly when I’m around, she’ll comment on how I’ll be like that someday.

“See what you have to look forward to?” she’ll say.

It’s a sarcastic, self-deprecating remark, but I don’t think it’s necessary. I do look forward to being more like my mom.

I consider myself one hundred percent my mom and one hundred percent my dad. The math doesn’t make sense, but that’s what I believe my soul to be.

When she mockingly says that I am getting to be just like her or when someone else makes fun of her for something she does, she’s putting herself down. But since I’m fully her, she’s putting me down, too. She, and everyone else, need to understand that my mother’s qualities are nothing to be ashamed of.

A glimpse in the mirror

When I put my head between my hands when I’m stressed, it’s like I’m wearing a locket with her picture in it. Whenever I notice it, my beautiful mother comes to mind.

When we laugh together, others may find it obnoxious, but we are just enjoying each other and creating joy, so why should it matter what they think?

When we spout our conspiracy theories, it just means we have active imaginations and are open-minded about all that exists and may exist around us.

When we’re clumsy, it just means we’re paying more attention to the world around us than ourselves, indulging in taking in the breaths of life. 

She’s my mother, but she’s also my twin. She’s my mother, but she’s also me and I am her. I can’t wait to be even more like her as time goes on.

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Thank you to Jullia Joson and Julianna Wages for their inspired edit on this piece and everyone else on the Lifestyle & Relationships team.

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